Mixed emotions

I was reading Karen Koenig’s book “The Rules of Normal Eating” and something she said really stuck with me.  She said “whenever your behavior doesn’t align with your intent, it means that you’re holding two sets of opposing feelings.”

One thing that frustrates me about myself is that I want to be fit but I don’t exercise on a regular basis.  I either don’t exercise at all or I will start and then stop abruptly.  I gave it some thought and realized my underlying belief is that no matter  how much I exercise, it doesn’t make a difference.  It’s a fruitless effort.  It is something I want but the payoff is too far down the road. 

Since I am now in touch with both opposing emotions, I can make a rational decision and one outweighs the other.  Most of the time I choose to exercise and it feels like I am doing something I want to do rather than something I feel like I have to do.

Now anytime something comes up that I know I want but I have trouble getting, I try to look inside and figure out what my opposing emotions might be and that helps me make a decision one way or the other.  Making a concious decision takes the frustration and hopelessness away.