Guilt me!

I have been reading and working the food feelings workbook.  I have learned some really interesting things about guilt, namely that I have too much.  Guilt is supposed to let you know when you have done something wrong so you can remedy the situation (if possible).  Then the guilt is supposed to go away.  That works for me, usually, the problem is that I have too much.  I feel guilty even when I haven’t done anything wrong.

I am sure it has something to do with my parents and learned behavior  

I will continue working through the book.  It goes through 7 different emotions that generally trigger over or undereating.  Guilt is number one and second is shame.

One of the questions at the end of the chapter asks what I will do to alleviate guilt.  My biggest tactic is to try to reframe my thoughts in reference to guilt.  For example, I feel guilty if I don’t do something that someone else wants me to do, even if I need to do something else to take care of myself.  This especially doesn’t make sense because that’s not necessarily doing anything wrong.  So I guess my belief is that if I don’t do something someone asks me to do, they will be upset and I will feel guilty.  To reframe I would say, sometimes I won’t be able to do what others want me to do and that is okay OR I am not responsible for others’ happiness.

Another note on guilt.  One of the results of my ‘parenting and learned behavior’ is that I did not learn to trust myself, therefore I am always wrong and other people are always right.  Others are always better than me.  Not sure how I am going to tackle that one but I suppose just being aware of it is something.

On a happier note, I have been doing pushups pretty consistently for the last two months or so.  Today I have done 90 pushups total, I broke it down into 5 groups.  The goal of my program is one hundred pushups.  I am shocked and proud of myself!  I think I have been inspired by the Olympics because it’s gotten my butt in gear!  I also started on the Core Rhythms workout today which is really fun   I bought it one night when I couldn’t sleep off of an infomercial…nice!