Taking care of myself, what does that mean??

What does taking care of myself mean? We throw this phrase around like we should automatically know but it’s an elusive action. Right off I think about exercising and eating right. But maybe it’s much more than that. Obviously making doctor’s appointments and getting all regular checkups on time fits in. Speaking of which, need to go see a dentist…

In addition to that, maybe getting regular haircuts and updating the wardrobe on a consistent basis so I feel like I look nice. That would include makeup and facials and possibly giving myself pedicures and manicures (or better yet having the money to pay someone!).

Would this include keeping the house and my office clean? Taking value in my things and the world directly surrounding me. I guess that would include my car and my dog. The maintenance of life is soothing and feels good when I do it (which I have to admit is not often).

Showering every day and wearing clean clothes. Seems simple but sometimes is a challenge for me. Could also be a sign of depression, I guess…

Something else that comes to mind is keeping up on my hobbies. I don’t feel like I have many of these so this might be an area of improvement. I love to read and watch movies and TV but that’s pretty sedentary. I also like to sing and listen to music although I don’t know much about it and although I’d love to download lots of new songs to my IPOD I don’t always know what musicians to look for! Hmm…other hobbies… I don’t even know what I like to do! This is worrisome. I’d like to sail because I love being on the water but it’s expensive and I don’t have a lot of extra money every month. Maybe biking? Walking? Maybe this one shouldn’t be keeping up on hobbies but finding out what hobbies I’d like to try. I did guitar for a bit but that didn’t last, it’s hard!!

Keeping up with communication. This one is particularly hard for me for some reason. I always have people I need to email or call which causes me a lot of stress but I put it off all the time. Sometimes it just seems like too much and even when I get caught up in my mind, then I feel like it’s not long before I start to feel guilty and the pressure again. This is something that probably needs some investigation.

Eating foods I like and taking time to prepare meals and eat sitting down at the table. This is a huge challenge because I have a husband who likes to eat on the couch watching TV so there’s not a whole lot of motivation to do this. So much easier to eat in front of the tv. A big hurdle but worth working on.

This kind of goes along with buying clothes but having the right underwear. I don’t know much about this because my mom didn’t teach me much, or maybe I just wasn’t listening. This is a challenge for me and I have felt in the past like it’s a waste of money but now I am starting to change my mind a little on that. It’s a very girly thing to do.

What else? Some things that aren’t such activities but more a state of mind are following up on promises made, both to myself and to others. Meditating every day to try to calm my mind and help me focus. Getting fresh air and being out in nature in some capacity. I think this is particularly important to me. Saying no to myself gently when necessary. Changing my beliefs so as not to beat myself up for things when I don’t deserve it. Working this program bit by bit until it makes sense and I start to create new thought patterns. Recognizing and calming fat and ugly attacks. Speaking up for myself when I would normally go along for the ride. Asking for and accepting help from others. Telling myself and others what I need. Asking myself what I need and then patiently waiting for an answer. Being curious and gentle with myself to try to understand why I do what I do and think the way I think. This will aid in helping me become the person I dream I can be. Accepting myself and my body for who I am and stop continuing to wish I were someone else. That causes a LOT of anxiety. Start telling myself I strongly prefer to change rather than telling myself I HAVE to change because that makes me very anxious.

As I writ this list I realize taking care of myself requires action but in addition it requires a lot of mental work. This is when I take a deep breath and step away for a while. I will come back and read this later and add any additional thoughts. It’s been very interesting to think about this…